Still wondering when I'm going to stop feeling shit. I'm really trying to see the positive in things but when others control external decisions, it is not easy truly. If I could simply move to another house, I would, make a fresh start, hubby could look for a new job away from The School, I could get a new job and everything would be dandy! Unfortunately, it is not that easy, because lack of money makes it impossible to move forward or do anything. So I have to watch friends, or people that I know, do all the things I want to be able to do, have the freedom I want to have, enjoy themselves in the way I would like to be able to but I can't, and if it was my fault maybe it would be different, but it isn't and I really feel that no one actually seems to care.
They say the 'right' things and then proceed to have the time of their lives - not that they shouldn't, of course they should, good luck to them, and I hope they never have to go through times like I'm having to live through. Trouble is, no matter what they say, they can't really understand and so they get fed up with a whinging cow like me - fair enough, I probably would as well.
So how do I continue to look on the bright side when there doesn't appear to be a bright side and hasn't been for about 20 years? Answers on a postcard would be gratefully recieved. xx