Monday, July 05, 2010


Still wondering when I'm going to stop feeling shit. I'm really trying to see the positive in things but when others control external decisions, it is not easy truly. If I could simply move to another house, I would, make a fresh start, hubby could look for a new job away from The School, I could get a new job and everything would be dandy! Unfortunately, it is not that easy, because lack of money makes it impossible to move forward or do anything. So I have to watch friends, or people that I know, do all the things I want to be able to do, have the freedom I want to have, enjoy themselves in the way I would like to be able to but I can't, and if it was my fault maybe it would be different, but it isn't and I really feel that no one actually seems to care.

They say the 'right' things and then proceed to have the time of their lives - not that they shouldn't, of course they should, good luck to them, and I hope they never have to go through times like I'm having to live through. Trouble is, no matter what they say, they can't really understand and so they get fed up with a whinging cow like me - fair enough, I probably would as well.

So how do I continue to look on the bright side when there doesn't appear to be a bright side and hasn't been for about 20 years? Answers on a postcard would be gratefully recieved. xx


maymay said...

well, don't think there are any real answers other than the obvious ones and you know those.I know you think people don't care but they do, unfortunately people ultimately care most about what affects them its the human condition I'm afraid. I'm a glass half full person , always have been ,its how I cope. I think you shouldn't worry about what other people think, if it helps, let it all out, rant,rave, moan, scream, whatever.

I kmow I'm probably top of your list right now but I am pretty bloody good in a crisis.

Helen said...

Its lovely to know someone actually reads my strange and bizarre ramblings! I've only just realised you actually do - I've been writing on here uninhibitedly cos I didn't think anyone read it!

Trouble is I seem to have been living through a crisis for about 2 and a half years and am well aware that there is only so much friends can take, hence the retreat from people and the Mire.

I'll live, I always do. xx